Step 16. Choose the happy few

That is what my ex did. He chose the happy few – himself, being without me. Because I was not happy. My happiness was hidden.

The motivation and joy are contagious. The sadness and depression are contagious. So, what do we choose? What do we want? We want this or no, we are affected by other people, sometimes more, sometimes less, but we live in a society, so we can’t avoid the contact with others. What we can do, is to choose, whom we share our time, whom we won’t.

I do remember, how I chose not to be with some people who were complaining, who were looking just to the black side of life, but it was so when I was a teenager. Later the people I was used to meet, were quite joyfull and happy.

S.Chandler suggests to make a list of happy people we know and meet them this week. He says, that little by little we should leave those who don’t support our new way of being, and seeking for motivation. Actually, he is right, since last january I was thinking, whether all the people I’m meeting worth my time. Sometimes it’s better to stay at home and read a book or watch a movie than go and meet someone you feel like you’re wasting your time.

If I had to make a list of happy people I’d like to see, it wouldn’t be empty. Wow, it’s amazing, it wouldn’t be empty!!! Just few months ago I thought, I didn’t have anyone, but now I think, if I want to have a nice time, I have some… let’s count… 4? 5? So many!!! oh, few more! These are not the ones with whom I’d talk about my personal matters, or hearthaches, but these would be people to spend a nice time with! I’m surprised. Really.

That’s why yesterday I didn’t post anything. It wasn’t that I was lazy, I just left home unexpectedly after one my friend’s message – come here, it’s been a while since I haven’t seen you. How can you refuse this? At least I couldn’t.

“We all know who
lifts us up, and we all know who brings us down. It’s okay to start being
more careful about to whom we give our time.” – S.Chandler.

Well, and talking more generally, I guess, it’s important to choose people, not only happy ones, but also the ones we can learn something from. I love meeting some people who have something new to tell, who can teach me something, from whom I’m getting new ideas. People motivate us, sometimes they don’t have to do anything, just be next to us, and we will feel the wave of motivation. There should be always some place for growing.

On the other hand. Let’s have some philosophy here. What is happiness? Does happiness exist by itself? Does it exist independently from us, or it is made from our perceptions? Is it socially constructed? Where does the happiness appear? In our mind? Brain? In outside world?

I’d say, that the happiness doesn’t exist by itself. We can’t go on the street and find it. There is no objective happiness. I’m sorry. So, what it is? Maybe it’s some creature of our minds. So, then it means, that what is happiness for me and for you, it can be very different. And when I’m looking for it, I’m not looking for anything, because I don’t know the form which I’m looking for. Instead of this, I could create it. It would be easier. I would put the form I like and I want, and it would be my happiness. Maybe I’ll be happy when I stop looking for happiness. I will simply become so, because I’ll create it. I will choose to be happy. And I will be.

I wish the same for you.

 

Step 15. Light your lazy dynamite

Sometimes it feels, like the motivation has nothing to do with happiness. The biggest part of these steps is about working, planning, keep on doing something. No, I’m not complaining. Opposite. I see, how important is to keep on doing the things and always know what you have to do. Always have a plan and the vision, how everything should be.

Talking about me, I do, I try to do most of these things, sometimes I fail, sometimes I win. But I still don’t have this feeling, that it’s right what I’m doing. Now it’s like pushing myself to do, ’cause I promised to myself, ’cause I’ve made a vision of myself, ’cause I couldn’t live with old me anymore. But I still don’t have that feeling of joy and that everything I do, comes naturally.

On the other hand, I got used to my routine and daily posts,  I don’t feel like my day was completed, if I don’t write anything. And in weak moments, as I’ve mentioned before, I remember everything I write, if I don’t, I get back and read, and motivate myself again.

To be honest, I’m proud of myself. I’m glad, that I’m serious with this, and in no moment I wanted to leave this thing. I had (and sometimes still have) these feelings of foolishness, and that this doesn’t mean anything, but I still keep on doing it. Why? Because I believe in it, because it’s one of my inspirational buttons. It’s responsibility to myself, and I don’t want to dissapoint me. Not anymore. I’m not that girl who was used to do. No.

So, what does mr. S.Chandler say in today’s lesson? He offers to divide the things we have to do in small pieces and let ourselves start slowly, like it was a slow motion movie. According to him, the slower you start, the faster you finish and the faster the motivation comes.

“When you first think about doing something hard or overwhelming, you
are most aware of how you don’t want to do it at all. In other words, the
mental picture you have of the activity, of doing it fast and furiously, is
not a happy picture. So you think of ways to avoid doing the job
altogether.
The thought of starting slowly is an easy thought. And doing it slowly
allows you to actually start doing it. Therefore it gets finished.
Another thing that happens when you flow into a project slowly is that
speed will often overtake you without your forcing it. Just as the natural
rhythm inside you will get you in sync with what you are doing. You’ll
be surprised how soon your conscious mind stops forcing the action and
your subconscious mind supplies you with easy energy.”

I could confirm it when I remember how I do the things for studies. Normally, I’m trying to start with the things I don’t understand or I don’t like – just to get rid of them as soon as possible and be able to start to do the things I like. Also, when I feel that I really don’t want to do something, I start it slowly. I make an enviroment, I set the “right” mood, I obligate myself to concentrate, and start doing it. Once I start, everything goes faster. The hardest thing is the beggining.

That’s why sometimes I really hate internet 😀 I remember, when I was in my bachelorus studies, I didn’t have internet, so it was way easier to do homeworks – there were no distractions around. And now.. to check the mail… to think topic for blog… to read some news, maybe something important has happened in the world during these 5 min since I’m not updated and I won’t know… to listen to some song on youtube… to find lyrics… and to sing… buff… hard 🙂

I should go and thing, what are the things I don’t want to do, and start doing them. Now. 🙂

The dynamite is living inside you. You don’t have to be frenzied about
setting it off. It lights just as well to a match struck slowly. – S.Chandler.

There is a well in every desert

I’m amazed by the deepness of “The Little Prince”… Everytime I read it, I find more and more, I find different things, I understand it in other way. I can see me growing. Also, I’m sure, I find what I need in that particular moment.

I could quote every sentence. Such a wisdom of A.de Saint-Exupery! This book is my Bible. Now I’m sure. I was always reading it in my hard times, or the times when I was looking for the answers. Just like the “Alchemist” of Paolo Coelho. Those two books are my guidelines through the tough times. And even though, I don’t learn from them. This time I hope it will be different. No, no, I don’t hope. This time it WILL BE different.

If everybody would read and understand this book, if they would use what they’ve learnt from it, all the 100 ways to motivate yourself books would be useless!

How many times we get desperated when something bad happens? How many times we lose our hopes earlier than it’s necessary? How many times we just give up fighting, because we don’t see the point? How many times we are able to see the well in a desert? There is always, always a solution from every problem, or situation. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s more difficult, sometimes it comes earlier, sometimes we have to wait and be patient.

Am I doing this? Am I being patient? No. I’m on the way to learn it. How am I doing? So, so, let’s say.

When our minds are full of pain, desperation and feeling badly, our hearts are blind and closed, so they don’t see the path to the well. We stop, give up, ’cause it’s the easiest thing and start to feel guilty for ourselves instead of keeping us calm and going towards to the water. There is no way, that it wouldn’t be any water around. There is always something what gives you the hand. We just have to open our hearts and see it, not turn our backs to it.

I’m taking so personally everything what I read lately. And it hurts me. It’s like I have to live with that stupid girl who made the fullest decisions in her life, instead of reading “The Little Prince” and finding the answers. I have to see her every morning in my mirror, I have to be with her during all the day, and later spend evenings with her. I’m trying to leave her behind, forgive her for this, but she’s made the biggest mistake – she’s refused her love of the life because of being so. I don’t know if I could ever forgive her. I guess, I should, to be able to go further and keep my inner peace. I’m leaving her little by little – I changed my hair style, just not to look like her.

There is some relief inside of me. Lately it comes and it passes, it comes and it passes, like some waves. I feel so confused. I can’t explain my state, I don’t understand what’s happening. One moment I’m calm with my life and I go little by little to my joy, and on the other moment I feel like everything is meaningless, I feel sad and without any motivation. I still have the desert inside, no wishes at all. But since today I’ll know – there is a well in every desert. I’ll go and find it.

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Step 14. Bounce your thoughts

Nothing is impossible. If our way of thinking is pesimistic, we can transform it into optimistic. If we blame something, we can stop doing this and feel thankful. Everything depends on our point of view. If we can do one thing, we can do other as well. It’s up to us.

The more I go throught these steps, the more I see how related they are. Maybe it’s because to learn them better, or understand them better. I don’t know. Anyway, today’s step is to learn to think opposite to what we were used to. As I’ve mentioned above – if we did one thing, it means, we can learn to do the opposite. It’s not easy, but nobody said it will be. It’s not easy to recover the joy and the motivation of life. But some effort has to be made.

S.Chandler gives an example with boucing a basketball ball. If you do with one hand, you can do with both, if you try, of course. Normally we say we can’t do one thing or another just because we don’t try. The human are so strange creatures – we use to one thing and we are afraid of trying something new, ’cause we’re sure it won’t work. So mistake!!!! Nothing is real, nothing is true until we don’t start to question it and doubt it. We should be discovering new things everyday. Ok, yes, I understand, it’s a plain theory. But anyway, not everyday, but from time to time we should be questioning whether our, let’s say, way of thinking helps us to go through our lives or no. And if no, if it makes it more difficult, change it.

It relates a lot to make everything up side down and look for new points of view. It’s learning to change our point of view – the way how to motivate ourselves. If we’ll keep on doing what we have been doing until now, nothing will change. That’s why the challenges are needed! That’s why we should bounce our thoughts.

I know, until now I had some pesimistic way of thinking, I even may know where does it come from. I’m afraid to name the reason, for not to be the one who is blaming the situation, not myself. Anyway, actually, it’s not so important where does it come from, more important is to understand it and be able to change it. Lately it seems like I’m working just on one thing – to forget my former relationships and be able to live my life. On the other hand, I’m adapting the things to other things in my life. I still have them – driving classes, studies, volunteering, job search. I know, that everything I learn, I can apply to these parts as well, not only to my heart.

So, since now, since this moment, I am bouncing my thoughts. Everytime I’ll have some negative one, I’ll try to get something positive from it. It is said, that habit comes after 21 day of using it, so let’s see if it’s true.

The overall pattern won’t change after just a few positive bounces of the
brain. If you’re a pessimist, your bio-computer has really been
programmed heavily in that direction. But it doesn’t take long before a
new pattern can emerge. As a former pessimist myself, I can tell you it
really happens, however slowly but surely. You do change. One thought
at a time.
If you can bounce it one way, you can bounce it the other.” – S.Chandler.

I don’t expect everything at the moment, but I guess, that if I work, I’ll get the results. I know, that I am not the outsider, and others, who success, are not special ones, they are like me. So, if they could, so do I. I believe in me, I have nothing else to lose. Anymore. So, let’s go for it, let’s go for different thoughts!

The Little Prince in my room

“Hay que exigir a cada uno lo que cada uno puede hacer, – replicó el rey.” 

“One must require from each one the duty which each one can perform, – explained the king.”

God, it sounds so amazing in spanish! I guess, I left my lithuanian “Little prince” in Spain, so I’m reading the spanish one and translating it into english. Weird. Sorry for the quality of my translation.

Today my former teacher told me that I have too much pretensions on people. I’d say, I had. Don’t know why. I was always a mess. I always knew I have to tolerate people, accept them in the way they are, but sometimes I was requiring too much from them. I was expecting them to be with me like I was with them. When I did something, it seemed obvious, that other would do the same, because it’s normal thing. But I never knew what could they be demanded and what not. After all, I had so many misunderstandings just because of this.

I can’t ask the rain to be dry, and if I do, I shouldn’t feel dissapointed. It’s my fault that it’s still wet.

I can’t ask to be loved, if other doesn’t feel the love.

Maybe we shouldn’t ask anything from anyone? Maybe we should enjoy if we get something, but don’t expect it? The other is not responsible if he or she makes us feel happy or sad, good or bad. We are responsible for this. The other is necessary just for sharing everything, but not for getting it from him/her.

It’s so unfair, when we put our expectations on other people and expect them to fulfill these expectations. It’s like mother phenomena.  Couple of weeks ago  I met one guy, he has a depression, I am not sure why, but as I know, his relationships with his mother are not the best ones. But it’s not that they fight or something. No. Worse. His mother had HER imagination, how HER SON’S life should be. When he didn’t fulfill her dream, she started to complain, despite that HE was happy with his life. We just talked this evening, that mothers forget the fact that the kids grow up and that they stop having the influence in their lives. It’s hard to accept it, they have to pass through horrible psychological path until they realize, that even though their little kids are grown and they don’t need their careness anymore, they still love them and want to see them from time to time.  It’s hard to be mother, I just can try to imagine it. But it’s unfair from their point of view, that the kids “should” be responsible for their happiness and they should fulfill their unfulfilled dreams. People should understand that each one is responsible for their path. Nothing else.

To know what can we demand from other, we should know him/her good. Since we don’t know, we can’t demand anything.

It’s true, what the Little Prince says, the world of adults is so complicated. And it’s so ironic since “All grown-ups were once children… but only few of them remember it.”

Goodnight. And never forget – you can’t demand more than one can give. It’s naive.

Step 13. Definitely plan your work

 

“Some of us may think we’re too depressed right now to start on a new
course of personal motivation. Or we’re too angry. Or we’re too upset
about certain problems.
<…> Once we get the picture of who we want to be, “definitely planned
work” is the next step on the path. Definitely planned work inspires the
energy of purpose. Without it, we suffer from a weird kind of intention
deficit disorder. We’re short on intention. We don’t know where we’re
going or what we’re up to.” – S.Chandler.

He’s so right. It’s like when we go shopping, we run like crazy, we get lost, if we know that we need something, but we don’t know what. I’ve been living like this for so long! It’s so hard to keep on realising every day the wrong things I’ve been doing up till now and to see the unchangeable consequencies.  Logically thinking, I am accepting everything and I understand how everything works, but sometimes I get so dessesperated, and I can’t forgive me for having been so stupid. Even if I haven’t done this on purpose. I have to admit, I was completely happy living in Spain, even having some kind of problems, but the most things I suffered, were not real. And I am not happy being here and now. I’m learning to live here, and accept it, because there is no other option, but I am not going to lie, this is not happiness.

Last few weeks I was really planning my jobs, I was making everyday lists, what should be done, etc. I have prepared even weekly schedule, but this week it didn’t work, as I had to study a lot. Even though, I am waking up at 6.30 am and start to do my stuff. Since next week, apart of studying, I will be translating also, I’ll do it more. Until now, I don’t feel more motivated when I have my job planned, but at least I push myself and I see my doing things. It’s a good thing to see the result.

The good thing of planning is the posibility to reflect on the things and be critical whether one or other thing is really necessary. I should do it more, because now my planning is more – what should I do today style. Sometimes I leave behind some important things. I know that apart of studying,and working, I should be working on myself, on my personal growth, but normally I don’t put it like the most important thing. It’s a mistake. I shouldn’t be doing this. I feel guilty, when I know how many my abilities are not being used. For example, I know two foreign languages, but I’m not using them during my day if I don’t have to study or to work. I keep these things in my mind and I know that they should be changed, but I’m still waiting for something. So now I’m promising myself to be hard on me, and work not only on my recovery, but also on my personal, spiritual growth. Maybe in this way I could reach the recovery faster. I just need to remember my vision of me and go towards it. Nothing but me stops it become truth everything I want.

“It is impossible to work with a definite sense of purpose and be
depressed at the same time. Carefully planned work will motivate you
to do more and worry less.” – S.Chandler.

 

Step 12. Put your library on wheels

Well, I’d like to start, that this step is quite american one :)))) Literally I can’t adopt it to myself, because I still haven’t got a driving licence and I don’t see myself getting a car soon. So, this step is going to be more the theoretical one.

On the other hand, I agree, that the time during the day shouldn’t be wasted. If we are on the bus, we can listen to audiobook, or read a normal one, and use this time for learning, motivating or discovering something new. I would rename it “put your library in your bag, e-book or mp3 player”.

It’s important to have an appropriate use of time, not to lose any minute for useless things. I mean, it’s good to waste sometime from time to time, but more important is to have everything under control and at the end of the day have the feeling, that it was not wasted.

Also, it depends, what we understand by “book”. Could a person be a book? Could I listen to someone and feel like I have read some motivational chapter? For example, today, I didn’t go to one class, because I wanted to prepare for one presentation (at the end I didn’t get a chance to show the result), so me and my coursemate, we went to his office to study – he was going to read a book, I was going to make that presentation. In 2,5h we did the little part of our job, ’cause most of the time we were talking. I’ve learned from him his point of view and philosophy, which I could adapt to myself, at least a little part of it. I got to know him better, and share some stories. I’ve heard the things I knew, but hearing it from the other person, makes you listen and believe that it could be true.

We talked about how unpredictable life could be sometimes. According to him, one situation is caused by previous one, and is causing the upcoming one. Probably, nobody could deny it. That’s why the life is so interesting – we know that when one door closes, it opens the other, so all we have to do  – just wait and look what will be there. Anyway, I’d love to live in this kind of life, where it exists just logic without  feelings, it would be much more easier 🙂 But I see that life is so beautiful and interesting, so I’m choosing to enjoy it as much as I can, even now I have to cope for not to look back and think why did it happen what it happenned. It’s hard, still very hard. But I’m working on it. Still.

Other interesting book of the day was my other coursemate. She’s very interesting girl, with a wide field of interests, and I’m feeling like I’m learning a lot from her – she is 4 years younger than me 🙂 We’ve spent a great evening watching one movie, laughing, talking a bit, listening to music and if I wouldn’t have had to take my last bus home, I would stayed and drunk the second bottle of sangria:)))) I can learn inner peace from her and positive, racional and strong attitude to life. I’m so glad I’ve met her. Our group of us three (me, above mentioned guy and this girl) motivates me more to go to the university, because I know I will see them. 🙂

It was a very nice evening after this quite hard week or two, where I was studying without any stop. Now until next friday I don’t have classes, so I’ll focus on other things. I should make some gap for myself and reflect more on my inner state. How am I if I asked honestly? Am I really better? What am I doing? Where I’m going? Am I doing everything right? What else/more should I do?

 

P.S. When everyting is lost, the future is still left. 

Goodnight.

Step 11. Find your master key

I was not going to write today, I was not going to make other step, but I felt so sad in the end of the day, and I felt like I should work and go further. I knew, this emotion will come, because since yesterday everything seemed unexplainedly funny, so I was waiting until I’ll start to cry 🙂 So now it’s a good moment to adapt the steps I’ve made until now.

So ironic, S.Chandler writes, that there was some moment in his life when he didn’t believe in motivational and hated self-help books, he founded them for weak and gullible fools. Just like me now. Later he was offered to read one book, he did, succesed and from that moment he doesn’t miss a moment without a motivational readings/listenings. That would be the story of step 11, in a short. What he says, is to find our personal master key – the book which motivates us.

Personally me, I wouldn’t offer just motivational book, because at the end they all should be similar. These weeks it happened for me to find some articles about how to be happy, how to live better, etc., and you know, all the advises were more or less the same – stop waiting, start doing, fake until you make it, etc. I’m getting fed of this, that’s why I’m concentrating only to this book, 100 ways to motivate yourself and I’m not looking for anything else. But my master key book would be some other. Maybe the one which I’d like to read from time to time and I’d like to have it always with me. One of this would be “The Little Prince” (A.Saint-Exuperi).

Anyway, I should start to seek for one more, for something new, for something to bring me some fresh air. Maybe some Buddhism philosophy? “Your own key might even come from the spiritual literature of your choice. You’ll find it when you’re ready to seek. It’s out there waiting for you.” – writes S.Chandler.

I guess, it’s very important to have some personal “bible”, to know where to look for an inspiration, when we feel lost in this crazy world. At the moment I don’t have my god, I don’t have my religion, so I’m open for anything. I need to start to look for it. I believe that the right book comes to our hands in the right moment.

Maybe this step is a bit too early for me, I’m not ready yet, but I feel that the tiny wish of it is already appearing.

 

 

 

 

1/10 of the path: ups and downs

 

So, as last night I learned the 10th step of my 100 days adventure towards self-motivation, it’s time to slow down for a second and take a short look what has been done, how did it go and what’s going to be now.

First of all, I’ve been posting everyday. It came naturally, I was not pushing myself. Maybe in the start I had to look for the topics, and press me a bit, but lately it became like my responsability, some kind of habit. I could argue how am I writing, and maybe I should try to do it better, but at this moment what I need, is to create myself and rediscover the things I had forgotten.

My self estate last weeks has been quite good indeed. There were some weak moments, there were some moments of tears, but I stopped them as soon as they started. One night I let myself go, I let myself feel the sadness, but it was very little. Actually, I think, I don’t have the inner pain anymore. What I have now, is sadness and thought of having committed a mistake. On the other hand, since I’ve made some steps about trying to look unexpectedly to the same situations or change the point of view, I’m discovering, that there is no point to be sad for anything. Life is so, and it would be stupid to strike against it. You accept, or you don’t. If you accept, you move forward, if don’t – you stay sad until the end. Easy. 🙂 To be sad and blame something for something, doesn’t take us anywhere, and our life time is passing without us. I have asked me – if it is really what I want. The answer was no.

Anyway, yes, I’m still sad, because nothing has changed in my heart – I still have feelings for that guy with whom I’ve spent three the most amazing years in my life. What happened good, is that this feeling of sadness is not on top of my heart anymore how it was in the start. Now I know it exists, but it’s somewhere deeper and I can have a normal daily life with it. It doesn’t disturb me anymore as it was even three weeks ago.

I remember, when I started this blog, I thought, that after 100 days, I’ll send him this link, showing, what has been happening in my life during these three months and how able I am to fight for what is important for me. But now I’m doubting, because it’s me who is learning and becoming better, I’m not doing this for him anymore, I’m doing this for me. The more I do, the more I see that it was a good decision to start. I still think that this kind of popular psychology, 100 ways of changing your life is quite weird thing, but as I’ve been lost in mylife and in myself, I needed something like this. As I’ve mentioned many times before, I’m just rediscovering the things which some of them I knew before and seeing them in different light.

I quess, the rhythm of 1 step a day is quite intensive. Anyway, it doesn’t mean I’m learning and adapting it everyday. I keep in mind everything I read/write/reflect, and use it in a particular moment. I know, I should work on this more and adapt more things to practice, not to leave them in theory, ’cause later it can happen the same what was before – temporal recovery and later big fall down. It’s not what I want and not what I’m trying to do.

As I’m changing myself, I realise, how my environment is changing. I’m not doing anything artificial, or even anything special, to communicate with people, as I’m good by my own, but lately I’m on skype all day with my coursemate with whom we study together, make some jokes or just share some videos, movies, thoughts. At the university also, my other coursemate keeps a lot our contact. And some time ago that would have made me happy, and I would have thought, that this period of recuperation is over and I would have stopped. Now I’m glad that everything is going well, but I don’t let it go, I know I have to work more. The important thing is that I feel, that my well being doesn’t depend on the people anymore. The feeling good doesn’t depend on how many people call me during the day, as it was before. And yesterday I was the one who showed iniciative to see people. And I did it because I wanted, not because I didn’t want to feel lonely.

It’s been two weeks when I’m awakening at 6.30 am, and doing some reading for studies. It’s still hard to motivate me to go on with french classes, because I really don’t like the way they go. So I have to push me a lot, and I’m not dedicating time to study it at home. Today I’ll miss one more class. Also, I haven’t started to look for a job. As we are writing one project to create a job place for us, but anyway, I should do it. Or I should work more on my translations. These 2 months I made maybe 30 in total. Well, next week I’m gonna have easier schedule, so I will come back to it.

It’s been two weeks I’m not studying driving theory, and it’s bad. I’m a little mess lately, ’cause I’m having middle term exams in the university, so most of the time I’m reading and studying. On the other hand, I should learn to use my time better. It’s still hard thing for me 🙂 When my middle term evaluation is over, I’m gonna have some quality time with myself, because last weeks I’m running like crazy without any moment to stop. I’ll take a bottle of white wine, or just a good book or movie and dissapear from the academic year. I wish I could travel somewhere, but not now. Besides, I have my tickets to Barcelona for next week, but it’s obvious, that I won’t use them. This time.

So, let’s see, the evaluation of the sense of motivation and self-control… hm…

60/100.

The feeling of happiness

5/10

There is still long way to go. But the start is made.

So, for next weeks I should keep on:

– learning to organize my time better

– learning patience

– Creating myself

– Using upside-down view 🙂

And yesterday my coursemates asked me what did it happen in my life and I changed my look. (Two days ago I cut my hair and changed a colour). They thought I was inlove :)))))

It’s so nice to see that somebody has done this before me and it has really worked out. Great! I’m even more motivated now.

Thoughts of The Day

I’ve made my bed every morning for a week straight

My room has been clean for almost two

I am actually going to class and learning!

I am working out every single day, a bike ride every other

I am joining two clubs- United Culinarians and the Association of Beverage Professionals

I am volunteering like no other, here we come farmers market on campus 🙂

I find myself singing church hymns and praying every time I am in the car (often)

I have decided to convert to Catholisicm

I have a bad ass savings plan and am easily on my way to Italy and retirement

I am getting my first Credit Card tomorrow (don’t worry it will only be used for gas and paid off instantly)

I have gone back to my architecture days and have begun designing my dream

Every single day I have is planned out (even rest)

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