Home » Life » Step 16. Choose the happy few

Step 16. Choose the happy few


That is what my ex did. He chose the happy few – himself, being without me. Because I was not happy. My happiness was hidden.

The motivation and joy are contagious. The sadness and depression are contagious. So, what do we choose? What do we want? We want this or no, we are affected by other people, sometimes more, sometimes less, but we live in a society, so we can’t avoid the contact with others. What we can do, is to choose, whom we share our time, whom we won’t.

I do remember, how I chose not to be with some people who were complaining, who were looking just to the black side of life, but it was so when I was a teenager. Later the people I was used to meet, were quite joyfull and happy.

S.Chandler suggests to make a list of happy people we know and meet them this week. He says, that little by little we should leave those who don’t support our new way of being, and seeking for motivation. Actually, he is right, since last january I was thinking, whether all the people I’m meeting worth my time. Sometimes it’s better to stay at home and read a book or watch a movie than go and meet someone you feel like you’re wasting your time.

If I had to make a list of happy people I’d like to see, it wouldn’t be empty. Wow, it’s amazing, it wouldn’t be empty!!! Just few months ago I thought, I didn’t have anyone, but now I think, if I want to have a nice time, I have some… let’s count… 4? 5? So many!!! oh, few more! These are not the ones with whom I’d talk about my personal matters, or hearthaches, but these would be people to spend a nice time with! I’m surprised. Really.

That’s why yesterday I didn’t post anything. It wasn’t that I was lazy, I just left home unexpectedly after one my friend’s message – come here, it’s been a while since I haven’t seen you. How can you refuse this? At least I couldn’t.

“We all know who
lifts us up, and we all know who brings us down. It’s okay to start being
more careful about to whom we give our time.” – S.Chandler.

Well, and talking more generally, I guess, it’s important to choose people, not only happy ones, but also the ones we can learn something from. I love meeting some people who have something new to tell, who can teach me something, from whom I’m getting new ideas. People motivate us, sometimes they don’t have to do anything, just be next to us, and we will feel the wave of motivation. There should be always some place for growing.

On the other hand. Let’s have some philosophy here. What is happiness? Does happiness exist by itself? Does it exist independently from us, or it is made from our perceptions? Is it socially constructed? Where does the happiness appear? In our mind? Brain? In outside world?

I’d say, that the happiness doesn’t exist by itself. We can’t go on the street and find it. There is no objective happiness. I’m sorry. So, what it is? Maybe it’s some creature of our minds. So, then it means, that what is happiness for me and for you, it can be very different. And when I’m looking for it, I’m not looking for anything, because I don’t know the form which I’m looking for. Instead of this, I could create it. It would be easier. I would put the form I like and I want, and it would be my happiness. Maybe I’ll be happy when I stop looking for happiness. I will simply become so, because I’ll create it. I will choose to be happy. And I will be.

I wish the same for you.

 

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