Do you still pay attention to what other people might think about you and your behaviour? Are you really 100% independent from their opinions? Are you sure? Are you completely conscious of your everyday life steps that they are not determined by others – their expectations from you, your acquired responsibilities, your decisions, circle of friends, job, profession, style… etc… etc… ?
Probably no one of us is completely free from others – we are humans and we live in social world. Even though, it’s up to us, how much we let others to determinate our lifes. That’s what happened to me.
In one moment of my life, I started to pay attention to what others would think about me, I was comparing myself with them and felt less valuable then they. I was eating myself from inside, falling deeper and deeper to low self-esteem, little love to myself and destruction of my relationships with people. And at the end – with my couple.
I don’t know where did everything come from, I’m not going to dig deep and look for someone to blame. At the end – there is no one to blame, as I have already discovered, I’m the one who is responsible for my decisions. So I decided to compare myself with others and let myself feel bad, ’cause I didn’t have what they had – but I lived in Madrid with the most amazing person and we had the most amazing relationship you can imagine. Every story is made of two sides, and I let myself hear just one of them.
According to S.Chandler, the thing, when we pay attention to others opinions, comes from the high school, when the influence is so huge, that nobody can resist it. Later we forget to put it apart and like an old luggage it is falling us everywhere we go.
It’s time to stop this negative thing, and start to live a personal life, based on personal decisions. Sometimes they will be unacceptable to others, but whilst they are personal and well thought, it’s ok.
“Most people don’t realize how easily they can create the social
fearlessness they want to have. Instead, they live like they are still
teenagers, reacting to the imagined judgments of other people. They end
up designing their lives based on what other people might be thinking
about them. A life designed by a teenager! Would you want one?
But you can leave that mind-set behind. You can motivate yourself by
yourself, without depending on the opinions of others. All it takes is a
simple question. As Emerson asked, “Why should the way I feel depend
on the thoughts in someone else’s head?”
I’ve made this step few months ago, just when I came back from Spain to Lithuania. I realized what was wrong with me and why did I have this strange feelings all the time. I left it somewhere, and I started to enjoy my own decisions. I started to reflect on which decision was made by me, and which constructed by others. Believe me, life becomes way easier 🙂
I’ve made already 1/5 of my path. The time since day 10 and today flew amazingly fast, I didn’t even realize it. That’s a good sign, no? 🙂