One can’t hate life, when it always offers some challenges, some failures and victories.
It seems, like before awards, life gives loses just to assure that the prize will be enough appreciated.
My life these weeks, these months, was first of all like a lake – standing still, with no hope to move. Later it started to be like the sea – one wave took me up, other – put me down. There were storms, there was piece around. Sometimes more than one in a day. And now it’s becoming like a river – dynamic, alive, non-stop going futher. It’s like I’m going somewhere, I just need to find a destiny and keep the direction.
Everything seemed so dark last months. There was no life around, there was no wish for something, no hope for the future, nothing to wait for. Just emptiness. Darkness. Sadness. Hard to believe that now the colors are appearing. Like flowers during the spring. I’m so carefull at the moment – I’m not sure whether it’s true, or just some ilusion after so much darkness. What’s going on?
Few weeks ago I started to organise the stuff for going to practice to Basque Country. First of all I was told, it shouldn’t be any problem, neither for going nor for getting the scholarship before coming back. I was glad, I found a place to live, I almost have started to count the days and wait for it, until… Until on Friday I was told that at the end they can’t give me money before I leave, so I should pay from my own and later they give it back. The little problem was that I didn’t have this money.
First good thing which I observed was, that after getting that mail I was not disappointed. I calmly read the mail and thought, how could I solve this. I had few options – to take a loan from the bank, ask if there would be some possibilities to give money earlier, or just don’t go there and use January for reading or traveling to other places. At the end I decided to try to fight, so I wrote the letter asking if there could be some possibilities and if no, I’ll take a loan.
So today I’ve got an answer, that at the end everything is ok, tomorrow I should go to firm the contract and give my account number! That means that I’m really going to Basque Country on January! This is so big lesson for me…
I know, I have to adapt it to other things, which are more important and harder to control. But at the end, the moral is this: There are moments in the life when the best we can do is wait, be patient and calm.
I think, at the moment when I saw that mail, I felt… HAPPY!
The life is really going on!
The lesson of today 🙂