Do you know what is it?
The rythm of our lives. Sometimes we do good. Sometimes we fail. It´s a fact. Knowing this, we should be aware of what can happen and be ready for it. Life doesn’t go straight line. It would be boring like this.
“However, people get discouraged when they slide a step back after two
steps forward. They think they are failing, and that they’ve lost it. But
they have not. They’re simply in step with the natural rhythm of
progress. Once you understand this rhythm, you can work with it
instead of against it. You can plan the step back.”
I was getting discouraged every time I slided a step back. I really thought I was failing. My gaze was short, I was not looking to long perspective, I was focusing on the short one. So funny now to observe me from outside and laugh at me, from HOW stupid I was. You should really look very good for the second the same stupid person as me! God, everything is so obvious now, and I had to lose everything I had to understand this. Why? What good is waiting for me for having committed such damn things?
S.Chandler says, that optimistic people are always ready for renewal. They new in advance that they are going to run out of energy. Pesimists do opposite – they don’t think they will run out of energy. Their way of thinking is all-or-nothing. That’s me! That’s definitely me!
always offended when the world is not perfect. They think taking a step
backward means something negative about the whole project. “If this
were a good marriage, we wouldn’t have to rekindle the romance,” a
pessimist would say, dismissing the idea of taking a second honeymoon.”
And optimists in this kind of situations have creative way to deal with them. They always know, that there are going to be ups and downs in their way.
Until today I thought, that life is like a straight line – something is bad, but later it becomes good and it lasts always, until it becomes bad again. I never thought about going two steps forward and one back, and that it’s normal, and it has to be like this.
I’m growing so much these weeks. Discovering steps here, reading books (although, I don’t have too much time to read a lot of books, but the most important – the little prince and alchemist I’ve already read), going to classes and psychologist, I’m recovering myself. Maybe I shouldn’t tell RECOVERING anymore, because nobody knows how long is this process and when it finishes. I should start using the word LIVING MY NEW LIFE, instead. When doing so, everything sounds different 🙂 It seems, every second my past is further and further from my present.
On the other hand, I don’t know how much of these lessons are already inside of me. I don’t know how would I manage new difficulties. But at the moment I don’t want them, I want to get used to the new me. And in january I will have new challenges. I already have the tickets to San Sebastian – 4th of January I’m leaving for 2 months! 38 days left. I was missing this count of days.