Step 88. Keep walking

73590_10200418268642486_1413074187_nLately I’m posting less intensively and it’s my bad. I’m not going to make any explanations, because it’s going to be stupid excuses – slow internet in the hostel, no free time (what is absolutely lie ๐Ÿ™‚ ) or anything else. To be true, I’m a bit out of my focused life and I’m losing control of it again. But not in a bad sense. On the other hand it shows, that I still have to learn one thing – to be focused not only when I’m bad, but when I am good, also. Even more important.

Last weekend I met one very interesting and clever guy. We’ve spent a crazy weekend drinking white wine, talking until the morning, he gave me to drive his car (don’t forget that I failed driving exam :D), we went to the mountains, etc. We talked a lot about his ex relationships, about mine one too and after having thought a lot about it, I had a feeling, that little by little I’m letting my ex boyfriend go. It’s like I’m accepting not logically, but also in my heart, that we are not together anymore. It is appearing some hole in that part where was him, and I have to fill it with other things. What it will be? No idea. Studies, reading, new feelings? I don’t know. I feel kind of guilty letting it go, but on the other hand the sooner it happens, the better. Just so strange, how everything changes so fast, the weekend before this one, when he was here, I felt strange and couldn’t believe we are really apart. Now I’m realising it, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with him anymore, it more means that I’m leaving these thoughts behind and little by little moving forward. Am I inlove again? No. It’s still a long way to be inlove again, when my heart is full of love for him.

So, maybe today’s lesson is also about it. Keep walking, keep moving, this is what motivates us. Don’t stop, because when you stop moving, everything stops changing around and it gets harder to move it again.

Nothing in this life should be taken for granted. Nothing belongs to us. People come into our lifes for some period of time, later they go. Some of them stay forever. But if they want to go, we should let them do it – nothing belongs to us… So hard to realize and accept it, but once we do, some things become easier…

Keep walking!

Step 87. Put more enjoyment in

enjoy-lifeHave you ever thought about the difference between the pleasure and enjoyment? It seems, these words could be like synonims, but there is something what makes them a bit different. I never thought deeper, what could be this thing, but I felt, that they are not so the same..

So, S.Chandler says, that enjoymentย is deeper feeling which comes when people have challenges and use their skills. Pleasureย comes from some activity which we may like, but we don’t need any skill to realize it. For example, it could be watching TV, eating, drinking. Author even puts routine sex to this list. So, all the things which don’t ask to put ourselves in, gives pleasure, but not enjoyment. And for being motivated, enjoyment is needed.

There are many stories and accounts about the winners of lotteries who
are jubilant when they win, but whose lives descend into a nightmare
after acquiring that unearned money. (No challenge, no skill.) The
lottery looks like “the answer” to people because they associate money
with pleasure. But the true enjoyment of money comes in part from the
earning of it, which involves skill and challenge.”

I know from my experience how I enjoy the things which I do using my skills or having some challenges and how hard is to enjoy something what doesn’t require any effort. Maybe not “hard” but with less pleasure, with less satisfaction.

 

Step 86. Run with the thinkers

1

When you are committed to self-motivation as a way of life, you will
fall into the realm of the Thinker. Your thinking not only creates your
motivation, but it creates your relationships, your family, and the
organization you work for as well, because they are all a part of you.
You are more valuable to your organization with this orientation to
thinking, and you’re more valuable to yourself.

Step 85. Replace worry with action

Sometimes it seems, like to be worried is in the fashion. The person says: “I’m worried” and it’s like the reason not to do something.

When I was with my boyfriend, I was worrying for many things – the absence of the job, money, what do the others thing about me, etc. The worry was my best friend, I couldn’t go anywhere without it. Instead, I could have asked me: ok, I’m worried, what could be done for not to worry?

I’m sure, this way would have been a lot of easier and simpler. When we replace worry with an action, there is no reason to be worried anymore.

Our worrying makes the problem grow. And most of the time, we worry
it into a grotesque kind of life, a kind of Frankenstein’s monster that
frightens us beyond all reason.”

The problems which occur in our lifes, basically are created in our minds. The things which are happening, are facts, and how we react to them – some kind of interpretation, which is up to us. If we try to experiment and one day behave opposite from what we are used to do, probably soon we would see the result and some changes.

So, now, I should put this into practice. Really, lately, I’m worried about my investigation, and how should it be done, what should I do. But until now I haven’t spend some time sitting and thinking (well, I did, but not enough), or writing to my professor and asking his advice. Because if I won’t do, I would worry until the death – lately I’m even waking up in the nights with this fear that I won’t do anything, that anthopology is not my field and that I’m wasting my time here. Buff. I have to recollect myself again.

As the weekend is about to start and soon I’m going to Bilbao, and this weekend I won’t post, I want to wish everyone: Don’t worry, be happy and have an amazing weekend!!!

Agur! (Goodbye in Euskera language)

Step 84. Go on a news fast

Mr.S.Chandler is already repeating himself ๐Ÿ™‚ This, about the news, was already told.

But anyway, just to remind, he says, try not to read/watch/listen daily news, ’cause their purpose is to stimulate our emotions, not to inform us.

I could argue with him. Of course, the news we get, are not the happiest ones, but we can’t ignore what’s happening in the world. And it’s up to us how we react to it and what we do.

Of course, maybe the tabloids, yellow press should be cut out of our reading lists, but other things, depending on the interests, could stay. ย Also, apart of reading something negative, we could look for something positive to read for getting some inspiration and motivation.

I’ve just had an idea to make some kind of a list of readings which I could read daily or weekly. Maybe, it’s a nice idea to think about! ๐Ÿ™‚

Have a nice day everyone! It’s a storm outside my window and cold in San Sebastian. I hope, it won’t last long and the sun will come back soon.

 

20 things of my life which make me happy

P1060670Ok, as I have mentioned in my previous post, that these two days I’m a bit less motivated, I decided to use a therapy of positive thinking and think about 20 things in my present life which make me happy. Let’s see if I reach this number ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. I have compromised to do this 100 days to the self-motivation route, and I’m still doing it.
  2. The good results of first semester of the master.
  3. New people in my life in Lithuania, with whom I feel quite comfortable.
  4. I see the sea everyday!
  5. I have an amazing possibility to live in San Sebastian, at least for a while.
  6. The knowlegde of spanish language.
  7. New experiences and new people I’m facing being here.
  8. The honesty and concern of the people whom I don’t know so well.
  9. I have a possibility to travel a little in Basque Country.
  10. There is a huge respect between me and my ex boyfriend. There is still hope, that maybe one day we will get back together, if we still have the feelings for each other in that moment.
  11. The parents of my ex boyfriend still love me and they want to see me when I’m here.
  12. My friends from Madrid are coming to visit me in February.
  13. I’ll start to learn basque language.
  14. I’m running in the beach. I’ve fullfiled one of my little dreams!
  15. People appreciate my job and they have a faith in me. Sometimes more than I do ๐Ÿ™‚
  16. Grey’s anatomy ๐Ÿ™‚
  17. Awards for my blog. I’ve already got 2 ๐Ÿ™‚
  18. The belief that time is passing and everything will be ok sooner or later. I know, that it depends on me.
  19. The peace I have inside of me.
  20. The wish to live.

Step 83. Take the road to somewhere

purposeEnergy comes from purpose.

It’s what they say.

And I believe them. It’s absolute true. When we have some direction to go, we go there straight, no matter, what happens. When we are just wondering around, we stand in one place and don’t move.

There’s something more. When we have a purpose, we get some extra energy to make it true. Have you seen a mother, who’s kid is in trouble or sick? What does that mother do? Somehow she archieves to do everythind she can to help her kid. If she had to repeat this in any other situation, it would be complicated a bit.

It’s very good thing to think about today. Just from yesterday I feel a bit less motivated, with less wishes to live and do something. I don’t know why it’s so, or because my ex boyfriend has visited me this weekend and we spent 2 days together in the city, or because I’m alone here and sometimes I just need someone to be with or to talk with. Or maybe it’s because I feel like I’m not doing anything to my anthropological investigation and just wasting my time and money being here. Or maybe it’s because I’ve lost my focus on the objective and now I’m like a leave of the tree – falling down without any direction.

Knowing what you’re up to, and why you’re up to it, gives you the
energy to self-motivate. Not knowing your purpose drains you of all
motivation.

And there is other very important thing. Sometimes, when thinking about the purposes, we expect, that the purposes fall down from the sky, or somebody imposes them to us. But it’s not like this. OUR aims come from OURSELVES, from our insides.

There can only be two reasons why you don’t know your purpose: 1)
you don’t talk to yourself; and 2) you don’t know where purpose comes
from. (You think purpose comes from outside yourself instead of from
within.)
Purposeful people know how to go deep into their own spirit and talk to
themselves about why they exist, and what they want to do with the gift
of life.

There is no one to blame if something goes wrong in our daily lifes. We are the ones who are responsible for it. One our step gives a start to another.

  • Purpose (madhealing13.wordpress.com)

Step 82. Take no for a question

Here is the lesson for today:

Don’t take no for an answer. Take it for a question. Make the word no
mean this question: “Can’t you be more creative than that?
In my seminars I work with a lot of salespeople and one of the most
requested topics of discussion is “cold-calling and rejection.” One of the
greatest problems salespeople, and people everywhere, face is in the
meaning they give to someone else’s no. Many people hear no as an
absolute, final, and devastating personal rejection. But “no” can mean
anything you want it to mean.”

 

Step 81. Pin your life down

2814818486650014_TRvID24S_b“A goal without an action plan is a daydream.”

I’ve realised this golden rule just not so long time ago. And god, it’s really working and it’s really true. This is the reason why I was stucked so much in my unhappiness, or unexpresed happiness. I was just thinking, dreaming, wanting, but… I didn’t have an action plan. It was like, oh, it’s enough, that I want and someday it will come true. But no. It didn’t come true until I didn’t move my fingers.ย 

Before any adventure, take time to plan. Design your own plan of
attack. Don’t just counter what some other
wrestler is doing. Let life respond to you. If you’re making all the first
moves, you’ll be surprised at how often you can pin life down.