What’s the biggest problem in communication with others? Especially, when we are frustrated, sad, angry, tired? I guess, it’s that we become very emotional and let our emotions talk for ourselves. We shout, ofend, tell something we wouldn’t say in a normal condition, and later regret.
S. Chandler suggests to try to put more attention to the mind. There is nothing wrong in getting emotional, but when talking and trying to solve some problems with others, mind is needed. Instead of blaiming someone, the way to solve the problem should be looked for.
For this S.Chandler offers to have some ladder in the mind:
“On the very bottom I write “The Physical,” in the middle I put “The
Emotional,” and at the top I place “The Mind.” We can move up or
down this ladder by the sheer force of will, although most people don’t
know they have that option.“
By travelling up this ladder we pass through the physical to the mind and we can always move up and down. That´s up to us, even though some people don’t know that.
“Many of us, however, never get past the emotional section of the
ladder. When we’re stuck there, we begin thinking with our feelings
instead of thinking with our minds.“
At the end, when we let the emotions talk, we let them to destroy instead of creating. The conversation will never be productive if it will be leaded by emotions, as positive as negative. The clear and rational mind – this is what is needed.
“Go ahead and feel your feelings. But when it’s time to talk, let your
mind into the conversation. Your mind is what motivates you to your
highest performance, not your feelings.“