When it’s time to part, then it’s time to part

A couple of 14-carat gold wedding rings. Pictu...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Wall of flames, bridge of tears.
Snowflake on newly forged links.

For a marriage to last, a couple must go through great travails and hardships. It is like a process of forging steel links together. The iron must be heated to a high degree and then plunged into cold water. A marriage alternates between the heat of passion and love and the chilling times of tragedy, conflict, and adversity. An enduring marriage becomes like tempered steel.

It is difficult to go through life alone. We all need support and the sense of belonging that comes from working toward goals shared with another. For such a relationship to work, there must be a basic compatibility of values, outlook, and purpose. It is an inadequate cliche that spouses must be friends as well as lovers. Two mates can know a loyalty found in no other type of relationship. Yet even in the face of such strength, Tao reminds us of the need for moderation.

Ultimately, all relationships are temporary. False attachment to another can become an addiction, a voluntary bondage detrimental to clear perception. We should no bind another to ourselves, should not define ourselves by our marriage, should not force another to stay with us. But if chance allows us to walk together, who is anyone to challenge our choice of walking companions?

When it is time to part, then it is time to part. There should be no regrets. The beauty of marriage is like the fleeting perfection of a snowflake.

Deng Ming-Dao

365 Dao

Daily meditations

In which corner of the Earth you are now?


Vigo, 2010

Lately one of the first 3 questions which people ask me, is “in which corner of the Earth you are now?” It’s very strange, because this was the question I was asking others and I never expected to be asked this. Sometimes the dreams come true, don’t they?

I learnt to move from my cousins. When  I was small, they were already travelling, studying, working abroad and I was looking at them and wishing to grow up and to start doing the same as soon as possible. Even though, I started my “mover carrer” quite late – I was 22 when it was my first time on a plane, going to USA. Before I had been outside Lithuania, but that was completely different comparing with what happened after coming back from America. I came back after 4 months to Lithuania, got my bachelorus degree and it hand’t passed 12 months since arriving to LT when I left it again, that time – to Spain. It was in 2009. Since that day I learnt to travel alone, to travel on a low budget and with small bag. I even didn’t have a backpack, and didn’t know anything about it 🙂 2008 and visit to States had opened one door which never closed and since then I understood – that I don’t want to get out of that place, and I don’t want to close that door. At least for the moment.

Well, everybody has travelled a lot, more than me, I’m not going to tell here all my travels, experience and discoveries, I just wanted to reflect a bit on the thing, that unexpectedly I became the person I wanted to be – the one, who’s being asked in which part of the world she is. And the answer: In Lithuania is going to be valuable just for couple next weeks. My plan for this year was to spend 2 months in Lithuania, and the next 10 abroad. It seems, this plan is working!

I’m coming back to Basque country this summer, and from September I will be studying in Denmark, in Copenhagen. 🙂

Before going to San Sebastian, me and my coursemate will go to Berlin, I hope to visit Bremen and Dusseldorf also, before flying to my beloved Euskadi.

Looking at the backpack on the floor in my room makes me feel good. Great. Amazing. Happy. Feeling alive. Once again. I’ve been trought tough time since last year, and I still have pain, but it is in other place in my heart. It’s like a cancer – I know that I have it, and I learn to live with it. I just don’t want it to disturb my ability to enjoy the things.

I can’t describe this feeling which I have everytime I move to some unknown place. That bittersweet mixture of worries and a bit of fear, the joy of the possibility to be able to open all these unknown doors and to see what’s inside, the uncertainty about what’s waiting for you next and other emotions. I don’t even listen to music when I’m in a new place – I want to hear it, and while I don’t feel it, while I don’t feel the part of it, I can’t drawn in my world.

So, in two weeks I’m starting my new experience, new period of learning, meeting people and creating myself! And I know – everything will be just fine.

Reflextions on 30 days experiment

P1080261One of the main things in non-formal education is the reflextions after something is done. N0n-formal education is based on learning through the personal experience, so it is very important to see what was done, evaluate it, reflect and see what could be done next time. If there is no reflextion, some important part is missing and no further learning can happen.

So, it’s time to face my experiment and what was done.

Actually, the only thing I did, was taking pictures 30 days. Even thought, it was not everyday. The rest of the things.. I failed. On the other  hand, I understood, that my mistake was to take so many aims and try to fullfill them. I should have taken one, and do it good.

The process of experiment was probably like any others- in the start I was motivated and with ideas about taking pictures, I was waiting for a new day to come to be able to take one more picture, to learn something new. But as the time was passing by, my motivation was getting lower, sometimes I wasn’t even carrying my camera, just phone. And I was not trying to take a GOOD picture, I was doing ANY shot just to be calm with myself that I did a task of the day.

On the other hand, these kind of self-compromises made me grow, or at least thinking about it 😀 It’s like some little tasks for the day which should be completed and which bring me step by step to some bigger picture.

So, in general, this experiment confirmed my weak points (looking and finding excuses for not to do something), but also let me understand once again that things are being done little by little, step by step and only efforts and patience help them to come out.

I was having an idea to go on with the experiment and do other thing next 30 days, but at the moment I’m quite busy with my final papers, so I know that I won’t be able to do it. In few weeks I will start something new. Well, actually, in few weeks I’m moving again…

Next post will tell where and for how long… 🙂

30 days experiment: day 29.

Today during the class of cultural models and identities we had a great opportunity to observe the discussion of USA professor and his former student, present phD in cognitive science, our former professor of cognitive anthropology. It was amazing how in one moment the younger opposed his professor and logically was telling him: you are again contradicting yourself by saying this… It was a great one hour of looking at them and trying to understand what the hell they were talking about. Hope someday to be like this younger phD guy and be able to oppose my professors.

Cognitinion vs. cultural models

Cognitinion vs. cultural models

Part of the wordpress family award

… this blog is my third one in english, and forth in total. The thing which differs it from others, is that this blog is still alive and I’m still posting here.

That’s the strange thing. To enter to the bloggers world is like to enter any new group when you are an outsider and nobody knows you, nobody pays attention to you. You are like an empty space. Later, little by little, you are doing your job, and people are starting to see you, to pay attention to you, to recognize you. It’s a nice feeling, although I have never thought, that I will feel something like this in virtual world.

And what is the best expression of recognition if not an award? 🙂 So, here it goes, Utesmile has given me one, called “I am part of wordpress family”.


And now is my turn to give this to somebody. According to the rules, I need to chose 10 persons. Before I will post the rules just to be clear and transparent 🙂

The rules are as follows:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person who nominated you.

3. Nominate 10 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family

4. Let your 10 Family members know you have awarded them

5. That is it. Just please pick 10 people who have taken you as  a friend, and spread the love.

Quoted from the Rules:

“This is an award for everyone who is part of the “Word Press Family” I started this award on the basis that the WordPress family has taken me in, and showed me love and a caring side only WordPress can. The way people take a second to be nice, to answer a question and not make things a competition amazes me here. I know I have been given many awards, but I wanted to leave my own legacy on here by creating my own award, as many have done before. This represents “Family” we never meet, but are there for us as family. It is my honour to start this award”

– – –

So, here it comes my list:












Be more optimistic (part 2.1)

Quite convincing argument about optimism

Your Love Pills | J25code2

Hello and welcome to our second part of our “Be more optimistic” series, if you haven’t read part 1 you should go read it first:

Be More optimistic (part 1)

Last week we talked about optimism as a state of mind, today we are going to focus on optimism and the physical aspects of it, so here is where we continue.

More and more researches show the physical, psychological and even economic benefits that generates an optimistic attitude towards life. Allied partners such as courage, hope, confidence, passion, perseverance and enthusiasm can transform our reality and make us happier

Do optimism and pessimism have anything to do with our health? Is there some kind of correspondence between optimism-pessimism and our performance? These are the two of the questions that we will try to approach in this second part. But first let’s see what we understand by pessimism-optimism.

Psychologists say that…

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