Back to the beggining

San Juan, San Sebastian, 2013

San Juan, San Sebastian, 2013

To make the memories into ashes. To make it dissapear for having space for new lessons and experiences. Circle of life. Things come and go.

Last week my ex told me he has almost closed the door. He doesn’t love me anymore. I can’t describe the feeling I had. Huge deception and pain, it seemed like the sky was falling on me, but on the other hand… I felt like I was free again. Emotionally. Like realising, that I can’t wait anymore and I can’t lie to myself that he loves me and he’ll come back. I was feeding myself with this lie since he left, even though I always knew he won’t come back. And now there is a big hole inside of me, emptiness, but also some kind of happiness and faith, that probably everything will be ok. Maybe it was really not our way to make it together, if he didn’t find it worth to give us the possibility knowing how amazing we were. Some kind of relief is in my heart. And a little bit of sadness, but not the pain anymore.

 

 

Once in Berlin…

… so, once we arrived to Berlin, my friend left on her way, and I took mine. It was a time for nice german holidays!

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I contacted my host Henry, and went to his place. It took just a bit more than ย 5min. to understand the metro system of Berlin and after that I felt like at home.

My 4 days home was one room flat, with quite cozy kitchen, a lot of japanese spycies, and big windows. Henry has made me a launch – pasta with fish and salad… Isn’t it a nice feeling when you are somewhere and somebody you don’t know yet is preparing you launch while you’re taking first shower in 2 days?

As Henry was working, I didn’t want to disturb him, I went for a walk in the city. Actually, to be more precise, he gave me his old, crapy bike and I went on a ride with it. Half of the way I was thinking that I will break, another half – I was surprised how it didn’t brake. Anyway, it broke just next day.

I’m terribly bad with maps, I don’t understand, why if in map it’s shown that you should turn to the left, in real life you should turn to the right… The consequence of me, not having good relationship with them, is quite cleer – one hour of looking for one street which was supposed to take me to East Side Gallery. Anyway, I didn’t lose my hope and last guy, whom I asked where was that street, said that I should go just 4 km further and I’ll see it… Sonnellea, or something like this is still one of those streets which you remember with fear.

Berlin, 2013

Berlin, 2013

Anyway, after that 1 hour of riding everywhere, passing park, full of wheet smell, I found what I was looking for. The Wall. The paintings. The words for freedom. The sense of humour. ย The atmosphere. I was trying to imagine what did those people who paintend it, felt. What was their emotional state in that moment. What was the feeling to live in Berlin in 1989. I was 4 in that moment… What was the feeling to see people from the other side of the wall. What was the feeling to wake up next morning of August and realize, that you already live in another world… It should have been so amazing, emotional and interesting.

East side gallery

East side gallery

 

… evening eating hamburgers and drinking german beer went just fine. To be hosted by someone you don’t know is amazing experience. You never know what you’ll meet, where you’ll sleep, but probably for sure you’ll get some inspiring stories.

Berlin has something. Something special. It is not city like, for example, Rome, full of ancient stuff, ancient stories and histories. No, it’s the heart of the history of XX century. It’s the reminder of what was done and alert that it shouldn’t repeat. The history can’t repeat itself, but first of all we have to learn and to understand it.

This is what I liked the most of Berlin – being honest and not trying to avoid the responsability. Like, I guess, one president of Germany has said: we are not responsible for what has happened 50 years ago, but we are responsible for what will happen next. Just brave and wise nation could say this.

to be continued…

  • Berlin (theadventurousintrovert.wordpress.com)

The soul of freedom

… I woke up at 7am that day and the first thought in my mind was: TODAY! Today I’m putting my backpack on my back, today I’m going on the road and nobody knows what will happen. Today I will learn to wait and see, that I never can be sure about anything, each moment is a surprise.

I guess, this is one of the most important points of travelling. During the travels I discover, that even the most obvious things can turn around and become the huge surprises having big influence to the life, or at least to the way of thinking.

So, That day, especially morning,was full of waiting and inpatience. I was turning around in my room, making my bag, taking the things off and putting them back again. Counting the passing moments until I have to put the bag on and go. And just before leaving my home, I saw on FB one job offer. If I had sent them my CV, they would have taken me. I have no doubts. Almost. But I didn’t. I decided, that if there was this job offer, it will be more, but now I need to go. Go to Germany, Spain, and later Denmark.

… we met on the road at 1pm. My friend was ready for a travel, and we both started to go until “good point” where we could start to hitch-hike. Our plan was to do this in two days, because one night seemed too perfect plan. In 10 min. first truck has stopped and the man behind the steering-wheel in polish told us that he goes to Poland. As it was our direction, we didn’t make any more questions. Later he discovered that he is going to some village which was on the way to Poznan, some 450km from Lithuania. In the other words, it was almost a half way of the trip with the first car!!!!

The sad part was that the driver was taking only in polish (and probably sometimes he thought that he does so in russian) , and we both were bad in both – russian and polish. Latter was worse. So, no normal conversation was established. Even though we managed to tell him that after Berlin we go to Spain and my friend to Portugal, he told us a bit of his job and helped to understand where we are. If not him, maybe instead of going to Poznan, we would have gone to Wroclaw, which was completely not good for Berlin…

After some 5-6 hours ride he left us on the way to Poznan, wished good luck and went back to his village to see his wife.

It didn’t pass another 20 min. when we were already sitting in one 23 years old guy’s car. He had very poor english, but he managed to offer us to smoke some wheet after some 5min since we entered the car. It took quite a lot of time to try to convince him that we prefer him not to smoke in the car unless he’s really good driving. But when he didn’t understand english, it was complicated.

After some 300km, which took us to Poznan, he offered us to sleep in some kind of place, called Hotel. He had a room for him and there was one for his workmate, but as he didn’t come, there was left one spare room. We looked at the dark sky (it was 10pm already), looked at the clouds full of rain and decided to take the offer. So, we spent a very comfortable night in Poznan, took a good rest and got ready for last 250km next day.

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“Hotel” in Poznan

Next morning our wheet smoker took us on the highway and left back to Poznan. After it we took quite a lot of time to get some cars to Berlin, but it was a beautiful sunny day, so we didn’t lose the hope. One of the last drivers was, let”s say, german businessman, listening to Beatles in his car, drinking water and black coffee. And the last driver, 50 years german, who has a 27 years old son was a real german, how we could imagine them – strong and strict. When he stopped and we entered the car, he started to say something in german, and just because of some strange human logic we understood what he was saying. Anyway, we managed to have some mini conversation in this language. Since that day I’m thinking to put in my CV one more language – german.

Berlin met us full of sun and weird people. “The amount of weird people we see here in 5 min would be reached in one week in Lithuania” – said my friend. “And in Kaunas it would need even more time”, – joked I.

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Berlin

To be continued…

 

 

 

On the road

2013-06-04 18.22.14Again.

The same emotion of moving out of the comfort zone. Bittersweet joy, little worries of how is it going to be this time, open heart for new experience and wish everything to be ok.

In few hours first time on my life I’m going to put my backpack (until now it was an orange bag or luggage) on my back and I’ll go on the road. There I’ll meet my classmate and we’ll stary our journey to Berlin

Can’t wait to see Berlin. No, can’t wait to start the travel, to be on the road and see what happens. If I open my heart, I suppose, I will meet people with the same opened hearts.

On Sunday I should go to Bremen. I will visit my classmate from school, I haven’t seen him for 8 years… When I was 12, I was inlove with him ๐Ÿ™‚ Now he is married. He’s always been on of my best friends in school.

Next day it will be Dusseldorf, but just for a while, once I’m there, I should go to the airport and in early morning of next Tuesday I’m leaving to Santander. And in the afternoon finally I’ll reach my destiny – San Sebastian. ๐Ÿ™‚ Again this year. For another two months. Some easy, peaceful feeling in my heart.

And during this time I expect to firewell my past and let it go. When I do it, new winds will come.