There is a well in every desert

I’m amazed by the deepness of “The Little Prince”… Everytime I read it, I find more and more, I find different things, I understand it in other way. I can see me growing. Also, I’m sure, I find what I need in that particular moment.

I could quote every sentence. Such a wisdom of Saint-Exupery! This book is my Bible. Now I’m sure. I was always reading it in my hard times, or the times when I was looking for the answers. Just like the “Alchemist” of Paolo Coelho. Those two books are my guidelines through the tough times. And even though, I don’t learn from them. This time I hope it will be different. No, no, I don’t hope. This time it WILL BE different.

If everybody would read and understand this book, if they would use what they’ve learnt from it, all the 100 ways to motivate yourself books would be useless!

How many times we get desperated when something bad happens? How many times we lose our hopes earlier than it’s necessary? How many times we just give up fighting, because we don’t see the point? How many times we are able to see the well in a desert? There is always, always a solution from every problem, or situation. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s more difficult, sometimes it comes earlier, sometimes we have to wait and be patient.

Am I doing this? Am I being patient? No. I’m on the way to learn it. How am I doing? So, so, let’s say.

When our minds are full of pain, desperation and feeling badly, our hearts are blind and closed, so they don’t see the path to the well. We stop, give up, ’cause it’s the easiest thing and start to feel guilty for ourselves instead of keeping us calm and going towards to the water. There is no way, that it wouldn’t be any water around. There is always something what gives you the hand. We just have to open our hearts and see it, not turn our backs to it.

I’m taking so personally everything what I read lately. And it hurts me. It’s like I have to live with that stupid girl who made the fullest decisions in her life, instead of reading “The Little Prince” and finding the answers. I have to see her every morning in my mirror, I have to be with her during all the day, and later spend evenings with her. I’m trying to leave her behind, forgive her for this, but she’s made the biggest mistake – she’s refused her love of the life because of being so. I don’t know if I could ever forgive her. I guess, I should, to be able to go further and keep my inner peace. I’m leaving her little by little – I changed my hair style, just not to look like her.

There is some relief inside of me. Lately it comes and it passes, it comes and it passes, like some waves. I feel so confused. I can’t explain my state, I don’t understand what’s happening. One moment I’m calm with my life and I go little by little to my joy, and on the other moment I feel like everything is meaningless, I feel sad and without any motivation. I still have the desert inside, no wishes at all. But since today I’ll know – there is a well in every desert. I’ll go and find it.

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The Little Prince in my room

“Hay que exigir a cada uno lo que cada uno puede hacer, – replicó el rey.” 

“One must require from each one the duty which each one can perform, – explained the king.”

God, it sounds so amazing in spanish! I guess, I left my lithuanian “Little prince” in Spain, so I’m reading the spanish one and translating it into english. Weird. Sorry for the quality of my translation.

Today my former teacher told me that I have too much pretensions on people. I’d say, I had. Don’t know why. I was always a mess. I always knew I have to tolerate people, accept them in the way they are, but sometimes I was requiring too much from them. I was expecting them to be with me like I was with them. When I did something, it seemed obvious, that other would do the same, because it’s normal thing. But I never knew what could they be demanded and what not. After all, I had so many misunderstandings just because of this.

I can’t ask the rain to be dry, and if I do, I shouldn’t feel dissapointed. It’s my fault that it’s still wet.

I can’t ask to be loved, if other doesn’t feel the love.

Maybe we shouldn’t ask anything from anyone? Maybe we should enjoy if we get something, but don’t expect it? The other is not responsible if he or she makes us feel happy or sad, good or bad. We are responsible for this. The other is necessary just for sharing everything, but not for getting it from him/her.

It’s so unfair, when we put our expectations on other people and expect them to fulfill these expectations. It’s like mother phenomena.  Couple of weeks ago  I met one guy, he has a depression, I am not sure why, but as I know, his relationships with his mother are not the best ones. But it’s not that they fight or something. No. Worse. His mother had HER imagination, how HER SON’S life should be. When he didn’t fulfill her dream, she started to complain, despite that HE was happy with his life. We just talked this evening, that mothers forget the fact that the kids grow up and that they stop having the influence in their lives. It’s hard to accept it, they have to pass through horrible psychological path until they realize, that even though their little kids are grown and they don’t need their careness anymore, they still love them and want to see them from time to time.  It’s hard to be mother, I just can try to imagine it. But it’s unfair from their point of view, that the kids “should” be responsible for their happiness and they should fulfill their unfulfilled dreams. People should understand that each one is responsible for their path. Nothing else.

To know what can we demand from other, we should know him/her good. Since we don’t know, we can’t demand anything.

It’s true, what the Little Prince says, the world of adults is so complicated. And it’s so ironic since “All grown-ups were once children… but only few of them remember it.”

Goodnight. And never forget – you can’t demand more than one can give. It’s naive.