Be more optimistic (part 2.1)

Quite convincing argument about optimism

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Hello and welcome to our second part of our “Be more optimistic” series, if you haven’t read part 1 you should go read it first:

Be More optimistic (part 1)

Last week we talked about optimism as a state of mind, today we are going to focus on optimism and the physical aspects of it, so here is where we continue.

More and more researches show the physical, psychological and even economic benefits that generates an optimistic attitude towards life. Allied partners such as courage, hope, confidence, passion, perseverance and enthusiasm can transform our reality and make us happier

Do optimism and pessimism have anything to do with our health? Is there some kind of correspondence between optimism-pessimism and our performance? These are the two of the questions that we will try to approach in this second part. But first let’s see what we understand by pessimism-optimism.

Psychologists say that…

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Step 100. Walk with love and death

courage

So, here I am… After 5 months… Step by step… With little breaks, ups and downs, but I’m here – the last step. I didn’t believe I will arrive here… But I did. I did it!

And the last step talks about the fear. The fear we all have and the fear which doesn’t let us do the things we wanna do. We look at others, who live their dreams and think, that they are special ones, the chosen ones, because they don’t have that fear. But we don’t think, that they have it, they have it everyday, just they face it and fight it.

Last week I was talking with one hungarian girl. She is studying law.

– Do like what you are studying? – I asked her.

– No, I try to find it interesting, but it’s not always interesting. – she said.

– But why do you study it if you don’t like it?

– Well, I like history and I think, it’s very important to know the law in our society. Also I could work in the company of my father.

– Ah, so this is what you’d like to do?

– No, well, I will try, maybe I like.

– And what is what you’d like to do?

–  To travel. I’d really like to travel.

It was very sad to hear this… A person has dreams, but does what he/she is expected to do… The person, which is driven through the life by the fear.

And it’s not easy, god, it’s not easy to face with the fear. Fight with it. Find the strenght, and motivation to do it. Never give up, even when the support of the family and friends is lost.

But we shouldn’t ever forget that the only one thing which stops us from making our dreams to come true – is a fear to fail. On the other hand, in Lithuania we said: the one who doesn’t take a risk, doesn’t drink champain.

It’s up to us. It’s up to us what we choose. Be victims. Be the ones who pitty themselves and their lifes. Or be happy.

I chose to be happy.

I chose it 5 months ago. And I’m still on it.

It’s not the end. It’s the start of my new path.

Step 99. Laugh for no reason

Happiness

Happiness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Few days ago one portuguese woman said me the best thing in my life: “Never grow up. Stay as you are now.” Probably I won’t ever forget this and I will always try to stay a little bit like a kid. I’m not the one who is curious and pays attention to some details or always gets surprised by anything. No, but I’m the one who is not ashamed to look ridicolous, I’m not afraid to make some crazy, funny things and I don’t care what other people would think. Quite often I behave like little kids behave – enjoy stupid things, get into some games, and enjoy them from the depth of my heart. Yes, it’s me, and I’m glad I don’t play this “I’m a serious adult” game. I’m 27, but I sometimes still have this joy of a little kid.

This is what S.Chandler talks about in this chapter. He says laugh for no reason. He suggests don’t wait until the happiness to come, but to act if it has come already.

When I was living in Madrid, I was thinking – “I’m not ok now, but when I get a job, everything will be ok and I will be happy”. I was waiting for something to happen to feel good. But it didnt’ happen. I’ve found a job. Actually, 3 jobs. And I felt better, of course, but it was not what I expected. Later I realised how stupid was living and thinking – later I will be happy. The moment of happiness is now and if we want to be happy – we should be.

“We do not
sing because we are happy, we are happy because we sing.” – William James, USA philosopher

Happiness, motivation is not some condition, it’s a state of mind which is controlled by ourselves. It’s not easy, sometimes it’s easier to let ourselves go and feel pitty instead of making some effort to feel at least a bit more motivated. Anyway, once we understand that we are the reasons of our moods, we will start to control them.

Good luck!

1 more step left and I’m done.

 

Step 98. Read yourself a story

Wind Energy

 (Photo credit: janie.hernandez55)

… well, since the day I’ve started this blog, it have passed way more than 100 days… Anyway, I’m almost finishing my adventure towards self motivation. This week I haven’t written anything, because I was in one seminar and I was completely out of the world and not ready to concentrate to myself.

But I had an opportunity to adapt my steps to the real life. Couple of weeks ago my ex and our friends came to visit me. I didn’t expect, but it was very hard for me to see him again. I had to hide my eyes, my face and my tears all the weekend. I realised that I still love him, and it was very hard to see him so handsome and so nice person… When they left, all my energy and motivation was gone. Anyway, I didn’t have a lot of time for recovering it, ’cause next day I was already with people from other countries, and I had to be me again. So somehow I spent few moments with myself, and later stopped being alone and went with some girls to walk in the mountain. When I came back, all the negative emotions were gone. I hope, I will be magaging this better and better.

And the lesson for today is very easy:

“Any time you have an opportunity to read something that is important
to you, try reading it aloud and see if you don’t make twice the
impression on yourself. When
you discover something you want to remember, and draw upon in the
future, read it aloud.”

It’s about the ability to speak and also to listen and to hear. Quite often we are listening, but not hearing. This is the important thing to learn.

Step 97. Connect truth to beauty

“One of the great self-deceptions,is to tell oneself,
only I will know.’ Only I will know that I am a liar; only I will know
that I deal unethically with people who trust me; only I will know that I
have no intention of honoring my promise. The implication is that my
judgment is unimportant and that only the judgment of others counts.”
Branden’s writing on personal integrity is inspiring because it’s directed
at creating a happier and stronger self, not at a universal appeal for
morality.
One of the ways we describe a work of art that is sloppy and unfinished
is as “a mess.” The problem with
lying, or lying by omission, is that it leaves everything so
incomplete—in a mess. Truth always completes the picture—any
picture. And when a picture is complete, whole, and integrated, we see
it as “beautiful.”
I’ll even hear about people—usually people who you can’t believe about
anything—described as “a mess.” And conversely, a person who you
can always count on to be honest with you is often referred to as a
“beautiful” person. Truth and beauty become impossible to separate.
Truth leads you to a more confident level in your relationships with
others and with yourself. It diminishes fear and increases your sense of
personal mastery. Lies and half-truths will always weigh you down,
whereas truth will clear up your thinking and give you the energy and
clarity needed for self-motivation.”

Step 96. Build your power base

I found today’s step, and I couldn’t agree more about it. It’s about controling the knowledge. It’s about knowing where the things come from, what create them.

Quite often we  just react to something, what’s happening in our lifes, we depend on the “knowledge” we get from the outside world – the TV news, Radio, Internet, friends… We don’t control it. In this way we become the hostages of the situations. And if we want to be motivated of our lives, we should control all the situations we face up. Well, ok, not all, it’s impossible, but the bigger part.

“Take control of what you know. The more you know about what
motivates you, the easier it is to motivate yourself. The more you know
about the human brain, the less trouble you have operating it.
Knowledge is power. Respect yours and build on it.”

 

Step 95. Hold your vision accountable

Some thoughts for the weekend:

It’s not what a vision is,” says Robert Fritz “it’s what a vision does.
What does your vision do? Does it give you energy? Does it make you
smile? Does it get you up in the morning? When you’re tired, does it
take you that extra mile? A vision should be judged by these criteria, the
criteria of power and effectiveness. What does it do?
Robert Fritz is widely quoted in Peter Senge’s business masterpiece, The
Fifth Discipline. Fritz is a former musician who has taken the basic
principles of creativity in music composition and applied them to
creating successful professional lives. Life gets good, he argues, when
we get clear on what we want to create.”

Step 94. Give yourself flying lessons

Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948), political and ...

Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948), political and spiritual leader of India. Location unknown. Français : Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948), Guide politique et spirituel de l’Inde. Lieu inconnu. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Symbole_Heroes

Symbole_Heroes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s such a shame that last days of my “100 steps project” I’m so passive and writing way less. I’m a bit messed up lately, in some moments I really don’t understand what’s happening in my life. Anyway, everything is quite ok, these days I’m a bit sad, or digging again in the memories. But probably it’s normal – tomorrow my ex and our friends from Madrid are coming to visit me. Probably I’m worried, even though I don’t feel like, but it can be something unconscious.

***

Few months ago, when I started with this self-motivation stuff, I was thinking, that apart of this book, I should read more biographies. Biographies of strong people, who go straight to their objective, who have reached a high level of self-motivation. One of these people could be the coach of FC Barcelona, Tito Vilanova, lately fighting with a cancer. I’m not a fan of Barcelona team, but when I read about T.Vilanova, it amazes me. And it’s not that he is some special person, no, he just has very strong motivational system.

Sometimes these stories inspire us. Then we feel like having some extra energy to go and fight for our ways, dreams and objectives.

We need heroes in our lives. They are not a sign of weakness; they are a
source of strength. “Without heroes,” said Bernard Malamud, “we are
all plain people and we don’t know how far we can go.”
Heroes show us what’s possible for a human being to accomplish.”

Just at the moment I’m reading an autobiography of Gandhi. Maybe it’s more the story of how he grew up, got married, went to England, later to South Africa, but it’s also a story of how he evolved like a person.

And now I’m also looking for some good good biography. I don’t want all these “famous celebrities” stories, which are quite similar – poor guy/girl meets an important person who discovers his/her talents and makes them a “star”, or something like this. I would prefer something, what really shows, that the way to the objective is not easy, it’s not from one day to another, it’s not always sunny. I need a story which shows that the heroe of the book is the same person like I am, letting me to know that I can reach the same like that person did.

When used properly, a hero can be an enriching source of energy and
inspiration. You don’t have to have just one hero, either. Choose a
number of them. Put their pictures up. Become an expert on their lives.
Collect books about them.”

When we are kids, our older brothers, sisters and parents are our heroes. When we grow up – this role belongs to our friend. But later it comes a moment, when we don’t have heroes anymore, we feel like we are heroes in our lives. I always thought, that I don’t have to look to anybody’s life, but create mine one. Now I see, that I can create my life by looking at other’s and motivating me. I don’t need to copy, I just need to get some strenght, support and motivation from outside.

“The best use of heroes is not to just be in awe of them, but to learn
something from them. To let their lives inspire us. They are only people
like we are. What distinguishes them from us is the great levels they’ve
reached in self-motivation. To passively adore them is to insult our own
potential. Instead of looking up to our heroes, it is much more beneficial
to look into them