The soul of freedom

… I woke up at 7am that day and the first thought in my mind was: TODAY! Today I’m putting my backpack on my back, today I’m going on the road and nobody knows what will happen. Today I will learn to wait and see, that I never can be sure about anything, each moment is a surprise.

I guess, this is one of the most important points of travelling. During the travels I discover, that even the most obvious things can turn around and become the huge surprises having big influence to the life, or at least to the way of thinking.

So, That day, especially morning,was full of waiting and inpatience. I was turning around in my room, making my bag, taking the things off and putting them back again. Counting the passing moments until I have to put the bag on and go. And just before leaving my home, I saw on FB one job offer. If I had sent them my CV, they would have taken me. I have no doubts. Almost. But I didn’t. I decided, that if there was this job offer, it will be more, but now I need to go. Go to Germany, Spain, and later Denmark.

… we met on the road at 1pm. My friend was ready for a travel, and we both started to go until “good point” where we could start to hitch-hike. Our plan was to do this in two days, because one night seemed too perfect plan. In 10 min. first truck has stopped and the man behind the steering-wheel in polish told us that he goes to Poland. As it was our direction, we didn’t make any more questions. Later he discovered that he is going to some village which was on the way to Poznan, some 450km from Lithuania. In the other words, it was almost a half way of the trip with the first car!!!!

The sad part was that the driver was taking only in polish (and probably sometimes he thought that he does so in russian) , and we both were bad in both – russian and polish. Latter was worse. So, no normal conversation was established. Even though we managed to tell him that after Berlin we go to Spain and my friend to Portugal, he told us a bit of his job and helped to understand where we are. If not him, maybe instead of going to Poznan, we would have gone to Wroclaw, which was completely not good for Berlin…

After some 5-6 hours ride he left us on the way to Poznan, wished good luck and went back to his village to see his wife.

It didn’t pass another 20 min. when we were already sitting in one 23 years old guy’s car. He had very poor english, but he managed to offer us to smoke some wheet after some 5min since we entered the car. It took quite a lot of time to try to convince him that we prefer him not to smoke in the car unless he’s really good driving. But when he didn’t understand english, it was complicated.

After some 300km, which took us to Poznan, he offered us to sleep in some kind of place, called Hotel. He had a room for him and there was one for his workmate, but as he didn’t come, there was left one spare room. We looked at the dark sky (it was 10pm already), looked at the clouds full of rain and decided to take the offer. So, we spent a very comfortable night in Poznan, took a good rest and got ready for last 250km next day.

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“Hotel” in Poznan

Next morning our wheet smoker took us on the highway and left back to Poznan. After it we took quite a lot of time to get some cars to Berlin, but it was a beautiful sunny day, so we didn’t lose the hope. One of the last drivers was, let”s say, german businessman, listening to Beatles in his car, drinking water and black coffee. And the last driver, 50 years german, who has a 27 years old son was a real german, how we could imagine them – strong and strict. When he stopped and we entered the car, he started to say something in german, and just because of some strange human logic we understood what he was saying. Anyway, we managed to have some mini conversation in this language. Since that day I’m thinking to put in my CV one more language – german.

Berlin met us full of sun and weird people. “The amount of weird people we see here in 5 min would be reached in one week in Lithuania” – said my friend. “And in Kaunas it would need even more time”, – joked I.

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Berlin

To be continued…

 

 

 

In which corner of the Earth you are now?

IMG_9255

Vigo, 2010

Lately one of the first 3 questions which people ask me, is “in which corner of the Earth you are now?” It’s very strange, because this was the question I was asking others and I never expected to be asked this. Sometimes the dreams come true, don’t they?

I learnt to move from my cousins. When  I was small, they were already travelling, studying, working abroad and I was looking at them and wishing to grow up and to start doing the same as soon as possible. Even though, I started my “mover carrer” quite late – I was 22 when it was my first time on a plane, going to USA. Before I had been outside Lithuania, but that was completely different comparing with what happened after coming back from America. I came back after 4 months to Lithuania, got my bachelorus degree and it hand’t passed 12 months since arriving to LT when I left it again, that time – to Spain. It was in 2009. Since that day I learnt to travel alone, to travel on a low budget and with small bag. I even didn’t have a backpack, and didn’t know anything about it 🙂 2008 and visit to States had opened one door which never closed and since then I understood – that I don’t want to get out of that place, and I don’t want to close that door. At least for the moment.

Well, everybody has travelled a lot, more than me, I’m not going to tell here all my travels, experience and discoveries, I just wanted to reflect a bit on the thing, that unexpectedly I became the person I wanted to be – the one, who’s being asked in which part of the world she is. And the answer: In Lithuania is going to be valuable just for couple next weeks. My plan for this year was to spend 2 months in Lithuania, and the next 10 abroad. It seems, this plan is working!

I’m coming back to Basque country this summer, and from September I will be studying in Denmark, in Copenhagen. 🙂

Before going to San Sebastian, me and my coursemate will go to Berlin, I hope to visit Bremen and Dusseldorf also, before flying to my beloved Euskadi.

Looking at the backpack on the floor in my room makes me feel good. Great. Amazing. Happy. Feeling alive. Once again. I’ve been trought tough time since last year, and I still have pain, but it is in other place in my heart. It’s like a cancer – I know that I have it, and I learn to live with it. I just don’t want it to disturb my ability to enjoy the things.

I can’t describe this feeling which I have everytime I move to some unknown place. That bittersweet mixture of worries and a bit of fear, the joy of the possibility to be able to open all these unknown doors and to see what’s inside, the uncertainty about what’s waiting for you next and other emotions. I don’t even listen to music when I’m in a new place – I want to hear it, and while I don’t feel it, while I don’t feel the part of it, I can’t drawn in my world.

So, in two weeks I’m starting my new experience, new period of learning, meeting people and creating myself! And I know – everything will be just fine.

30 days experiment: day 15.

Joan Plaza… Catalan. Basketball coach. Writer. Lives in Kaunas now and works in Kaunas “Žalgiris” team. I’ve never met him, I’ve never heard him talking before, I’ve never read his books. But today I went to the presentation of his book. It´s a pitty I couldn´t wait until the end and ask him to meet for an interview, but I still hope that I could get his contacts.

I was amazed by this man. So expressive, so passionate, so real, so willing to live. Not only a sportsman, but also an artist, an amazingly talkative and interesting person. I hope to have an interview with him. It should be amazingly interesting.

J.Plaza: "Fight for your dreams,guys."

J.Plaza: “Fight for your dreams,guys.”

How were these 100 days towards self motivation?

388497_558397487514755_529650702_nI know, it’s been a while I haven’t written. There is no excuse to this – I was not so busy moving back from Basque country to Lituania, I was not too busy getting back to the studies and meeting friends. I was just without some fire, without motivation to write and to reflect, so I decided to wait a while and do it later. So now is the moment.

How were all these days of my experiment? I started it in the middle of October. To be more precise – the 13th of October. It was saturday. I had a terrible hangover after drinking whiskey all night with my friend and friends of her. The consequence of this was that I overslept the next days french test. No matter, having a good time sometimes requires some sacrificies.

Just that week, tuesday to thursday I was in Madrid, trying to talk to my ex boyfriend, try to understand why we broke and if he really feels sure about this, if he doesn’t even want to try and to show him how much I care – coming from Lithuania to Spain for one day and a half is not so easy and cheap plan 🙂

Anyway, that week, after talking to my ex, I saw that I’ve done everything and that there is no way to get the relationship back and what I have to do – is to move forward. I was dead inside, I knew what I have to do, but I didn’t have any idea HOW. I didn’t feel anything inside of me, I didn’t have any motivation, I was not concentrated at all, I didn’t have the aim for anything.

So one day I started to look on the internet the ways of motivating myself, even though I didn’t believe in these things. Suddenly I found this book “100 ways to motivate yourself” (S.Chandler) and I downloaded it. I thought – if I read it, nothing will happen. I need to do something else. I don’t need only to read it, I’ve lost everything I had in my life, so now it’s time to act and recover at least something. That’s how the idea of blog has apperead. Writting a blog was some kind of compromise with myself, some duty which I was suppose to do everyday. Even though I knew that if I stop, I will dissapoint only me, I told to myself – this time you MUST do this, you can’t fail again. Are you able to do at least one thing in your life good? So I started. I was conscious about all the process. I knew that firstly I will be excited and motivated of writing everyday, lately I will start to think how stupid and useless it is, how I’m wasting my time, etc. I knew, that I will have to pass through these doubts in order to get to the moment when writing becomes my habit and responsability. And it did.

If I had to name all the steps I had to do during these months, I wouldn’t. It’s not I’ve done everything, but some of them stayed in my mind. First of all, it’s step 1. Get on yourdeathbed. I remember that day I was writing this and how much I put myself into it. I has changed everything. Since that moment I started to think differently about the people who suround me, I started to try to give more, expect less and accept the different ways they are with me.

Step 4. Keep your eyes on the prize. The other post which moved me. Until now I am amazed how the concentration on the goals is working. I noticed, that I was concentrated on one goal, but later I was getting prizes from the other, which was not my goal exactly. I will explain it soon.

Step 14.Bounce your thoughts. It’s about changing the way of thinking, like we change the hand in which we have the ball. Sometimes we say “I can’t” just because we’ve never tried. If we try, we se that we can.

Actually, a lot of useful steps have been during all these 100 days. But the most important is not the content, but that I managed to make a habit to reflect about them everyday, which made my life full not only of studies, but also of some other things. I had to keep myself conscious all the time, so I could be able to recognize my feelings and work with them.

I did something wrong. Or, let’s say, I haven’t done something until the end. I still organize my time bad and don’t pay too much attention to my mind again, sometimes I feel again that I’m losing the control of my daily life and it controls me, so I’m just reacting, which is not good. The good point is that I’m realising it and I can change it. Every moment.

I created this blog, because I wanted to get rid of the painful break up with the most important person in my life. My first idea was to make  100 steps and show him what I’m capable of , and that there was no point to leave me for the reasons he said. Later I decided that what I’m doing is for me, not for him, and if he is happy without me, he loses a lot, but I hope he wins more. It’s painful to realize that someone you used to share you life with is better without you, but it’s the reality and everything is perfect just in fairy tales. And the only one thing I want for the person I still love – him to be happy.

Few months ago, in October, I was broken. I was apathetic. I hadn’t had the joy of life. I didn’t want to be with the people. I couldn’t leave my home for more than a few hours, later I needed to come back, lay down in my bed and watch to the ceiling. My psychologist told me once that the feelings I’m decribing to her, bring to depresion and that she’s worried about me. I failed driving exam. I left french classes. I spent a lot of money for buying plane tickets and not using them. I almost didn’t eat anything for a couple of months and I lost about 7kg. My eyes were emotionless, I didn’t have any needs.

Somehow I managed to put my eye on my studies and it was the only one thing that I was interested in. I don’t know why, maybe I didn’t want to fail also here, I don’t know. But it helped me and the big concentration soon came up with results.

First of all, I’m getting a monthly scholarship. It’s not huge amount of money, but it’s a first time in my life and it’s a great motivation. Secondly, I spent couple of months in Basque country, thanks to my studies. There I didn’t do a great job in investigation, but I recovered the part of myself.

So today, after 5 months and a half since the start of this blog, I’m fixing myself after being broken. I recovered the joy of life. I wake up  in the morning and my first thought is not about my ex that he is still sleeping, but about  this day, or just something like “oh no, let’s sleep 5 minutes more!” I have new friends, who enjoy spending time with me. I recovered my self-esteem. I spent few months outside my comfort zone in Lithuania and made new friends there. I was even able to start to like a guy whom I’m going to visit to Poland in few days. At the end he is my friend, and we’ll never be a couple, but I’m glad to have him as a friend. I feel peace inside of me. I’m calm. I don’t know what happens tomorrow, but I try to do the best today to have better tomorrow. I’m going to study to Denmark, to Copenhagen next semester. I’ve never been to Denmark! My friend said that my face and my eyes are different. I feel them different, like more shinny. I feel happy! And no matter, that everything I have now, I call “Plan B. Less bad.” Less bad… And no matter that I would refuse probably everything if I could hug and kiss my ex boyfriend again. No matter that  I badly want his eyes to be fixed on me and full of love like before. I don’t have this anymore, but I have other things, so I chose to take them and move instead of staying in the past.

And yes, sometimes I’m still crying during the nights. I cut the communication with him, because I felt that I’m way better when I’m not in touch with him. At least now. Yes, sometimes I get sad. But then I let myself feel. I’m not controling myself. I cry, I drawn in memories. But in the morning I wake up, look through the window, dress up and go to the university, where I know that I will meet my friends and have some interesting classes about social anthropology. I have plans for the close future – Poland next week, maybe Basque country this summer, Denmark from September… Scholarship every month. This year is going better than I expected. Last year took everyting I had, this one is giving everything I hadn’t before.

I don’t know if some conclusion is needed. During this time I hope that I’ve learned to accept the things they are, because not accepting means putting yourself in a meaningless trouble. Everything has a meaning. Good things have price and bad things – awards. Sooner or later. All you need is a patience.

 

20 things of my life which make me happy

P1060670Ok, as I have mentioned in my previous post, that these two days I’m a bit less motivated, I decided to use a therapy of positive thinking and think about 20 things in my present life which make me happy. Let’s see if I reach this number 🙂

  1. I have compromised to do this 100 days to the self-motivation route, and I’m still doing it.
  2. The good results of first semester of the master.
  3. New people in my life in Lithuania, with whom I feel quite comfortable.
  4. I see the sea everyday!
  5. I have an amazing possibility to live in San Sebastian, at least for a while.
  6. The knowlegde of spanish language.
  7. New experiences and new people I’m facing being here.
  8. The honesty and concern of the people whom I don’t know so well.
  9. I have a possibility to travel a little in Basque Country.
  10. There is a huge respect between me and my ex boyfriend. There is still hope, that maybe one day we will get back together, if we still have the feelings for each other in that moment.
  11. The parents of my ex boyfriend still love me and they want to see me when I’m here.
  12. My friends from Madrid are coming to visit me in February.
  13. I’ll start to learn basque language.
  14. I’m running in the beach. I’ve fullfiled one of my little dreams!
  15. People appreciate my job and they have a faith in me. Sometimes more than I do 🙂
  16. Grey’s anatomy 🙂
  17. Awards for my blog. I’ve already got 2 🙂
  18. The belief that time is passing and everything will be ok sooner or later. I know, that it depends on me.
  19. The peace I have inside of me.
  20. The wish to live.

Step 70. Face the sun

Last two days I was traveling and here I am – in Spain again, in Basque country. It’s so strange feeling – like half coming back home, but other half like coming to knew place with new people and almost without anything what was before. Sad, on the other hand – interesting.

And this is today’s lesson – to face the sun. To choose the point of view we want to have when we are facing up the things. They depend only on our point of view, on nothing else.

“The way we choose to see
the world creates the world we see.”

I’m trying to see the beautiful world. Especially now, when it’s first time when I’m in Spain being lonely, not with a boyfriend. Well, yes, it was in October when I went to Madrid to talk to him, but then it was different.

Well, let’s see what these 2 months will bring me!

 

1/2 of the path: I’ve never thought I’ll be here

eiks

Self-confidence.

Relief.

Proud.

Joy.

Happiness.

Trust.

I have these feelings just right now. Tomorrow I’m starting the second half of the path to self motivation. It’s amazing. Even I’m the only one who thinks that, but it’s amazing!

So strange. It seems, I’ve started it both – yesterday and long long time ago. On the one hand time has passed so fast that I didn’t even realized. On the other hand, I feel myself so different from that day “me”, that it’s strange that it has passed just 50 days. A bit more, as I’ve  missed few days without writing.

I’m thinking differently, I’m doing fine, I’m planning my future! I see my future! I’m making my plans! Last day I faced with the fact that I’m going to Basque country for a couple of months – first time for so long time after august… I´m moving out of my comfort zone again.

All these signs show me, that I’m doing fine. I’m recovering. Or, let’s say, I’m learning to live in my new life. Let’s not use this “I’m recovering”. Maybe I’ve recovered and now I’m adapting new me to my new life. It sounds better.

37_picsSo, what’s happened, that I want to live again?

Even I didn’t seem so, I was working one me.

I was having my daily responsibilities, such as post every day, without any kind of excuses.

I was being conscious, paying attention to my behaviour, thoughts, controling them. I was listening to myself and to my needs.

I was wanting to have my life, I was convincing me, that everything what is happening in the life, has a start and the end.

I let myself to feel. I let myself to be angry. To hate, to be angry at the most important person in my life. I let myself to pass through all steps of acceptance of the lose.

It’s not the end, maybe the hardest is just waiting for me. But I know – I’m already different, so I’ll be handleing it in different way.

And I hope, that the worst is already in the past.

It doesn’t mean I don’t love anymore. It doesn’t mean I don’t want the things which were important to me back. It means I’ve learnt to live without it. It means, I can love being here, being apart. It means, I’m accepting my reality and feeling comfortable with it.

I’m so happy about it. Yes, happy, let’s not be afraid of this word!

 

Step 35. Open your present

… sometimes it seems so hard to leave the past behind, because we stay in emptiness. Sometimes it seems, like getting back to the past and living there, helps to change the present or even make an impact to the future. Sometimes it seems, if I leave my past behind, it means that I accept everything and I give up. I feel like I’m not fighting if I stop getting back there.

When I dig deeper, I find out, that it’s a mistake to think like this. Not letting the past go is like carrying the old luggage which is not necesarry anymore, just weights a lot, makes troubles of moving further, but doesn’t help in any case. Leaving it would cause some troubles in first moments – it would feel strange to walk without it, there would be some feeling of emptiness, fear and insecurity. But step after step when getting used to walk without it, the feeling of freedom would arrive.

Practice being awake in the present moment. Make the most of your
awareness of this hour. Don’t live in the past (unless you want guilt) or
worry about the future (unless you want fear), but stay focused on
today (in case you want happiness).”

I’ve always been past-oriented person. I was focused on my past, on what’s happened and how did it influence my life. I never thought about leaving my past and looking forward, and moving on. It was like easier way – to feel sorry for myself and to put an excuse, that TODAY I’m not happy because YESTERDAY it happened something bad.

I don’t know where did it come from. Maybe from my country – I was raised by the mother who grew up in Soviet Union, where it was quite a difficult time. I was born in Soviet Union, and I was 5 years old when it fell. I don’t know where it comes from, but I don’t care anymore – I have localised the problem and I’m working on it.

Human mind is hard thing, you have to be strong to control it. But once you manage to do it, freedom comes. I think, I’m on my way to it, but I haven’t arrived yet. I’m still getting back to my close past and thinking about my previous relationships, looking for the reasons of its end, thinking what my ex is thinking and how is he feeling, sometimes feeling sad guessing that probably he is fully recovered as yesterday was already 3 months of the break. It’s not I don’t feel happy if he is ok, is more of not being able to control my mind and stop wondering whether he still thinks about me or not. Sometimes I feel I need some advice from the guy, who could explain me about the men brain. On the other hand I understand that everybody is different, so there is no one model of thinking.

I’m wondering… When I was in Madrid in October, he told me that at the moment it’s enough for him to communicate very little with me – just as with his best friend – talk from time to time every few months. But since I left, he’s been starting the conversation every once a week, every 7-10 days. I don’t understand, why he still needs to keep me updated about his life and keep him updated about mine? I know that we split like civilised persons, but anyway, why does he need so intensive communication? He is not calling to any of his friends every week…

I think, this is my luggage, which I still can’t leave behind. I don’t know why. I almots don’t expect any more that someday he comes back and says it was a mistake, and let’s try again. I think, the more time passes, the further we are and that’s where the end comes. So I’m keeping this tiny communication… I don’t even know why. Maybe experimenting my feelings and learning to control my words? Maybe in this way I’m learning patience? I just don’t want to cross the line and make more harm for me. I’ll see how everything will be going on later and maybe I’ll cut of this communication. We can’t be friends in our case. Generally, I think, that in very few cases ex couples could stay  friends. What do you think?

So, as coming back to the topic, staying in the past doesn’t bring anything positive, because we are wasting our energy to some things which can’t be changed, we start to feel guilty, sorry for ourselves and stop thinking that the present is given for changing something. Everytime I feel I’m starting to think about my past, how nice it was and how bad is now, I’m trying to stop doing it and find what is good now. And there are good things now as well. For example, my plans for going to Basque Country. I don’t know how it will be there, but I’m sure, the change of environment, fresh-air in my everyday life will bring me new energy. I’ll be again with new people in new place. And even I’ll know spanish, but I won’t know euskera. And I will try to learn it.

I’m very glad, that I can notice the change in my well-being. Couple of months ago the most I could plan, was what will I do in couple of hours. Later I could plan next day, but I was never sure whether I do what I have planned. Now I’m planning what I will be doing in couple of months. And more, I’m leaving my COMFORT ZONE, and going somewhere for 2 months. Two months ago I didn’t want to leave my home for more than 5 hours and later I needed to come back to MY PLACE, MY COMFORT ZONE. That’s a huge step forward.

This change is not because of passing time, but also of conscious work with myself. I’m trying every day, one day more, other less, but I’m keeping the path I’ve started with this 100 days to self-motivation adventure. And I’m really glad and thankful, that people have joined me and they are following my journey. Maybe they even adapt some of the steps to their lifes.

When you think that life has stopped – calm down, breath and wait until it starts to move again

Storm arriving to San Sebastian-Donostia (Basque Country)

One can’t hate life, when it always offers some challenges, some failures and victories.

It seems, like before awards, life gives loses just to assure that the prize will be enough appreciated.

My life these weeks, these months, was first of all like a lake – standing still, with no hope to move. Later it started to be like the sea – one wave took me up, other – put me down. There were storms, there was piece around. Sometimes more than one in a day. And now it’s becoming like a river – dynamic, alive, non-stop going futher. It’s like I’m going somewhere, I just need to find a destiny and keep the direction.

Everything seemed so dark last months. There was no life around, there was no wish for something, no hope for the future, nothing to wait for. Just emptiness. Darkness. Sadness. Hard to believe that now the colors are appearing. Like flowers during the spring. I’m so carefull at the moment – I’m not sure whether it’s true, or just some ilusion after so much darkness. What’s going on?

Few weeks ago I started to organise the stuff for going to practice to Basque Country. First of all I was told, it shouldn’t be any problem, neither for going nor for getting the scholarship before coming back. I was glad,  I found a place to live, I almost have started to count the days and wait for it, until… Until on Friday I was told that at the end they can’t give me money before I leave, so I should pay from my own and later they give it back. The little problem was that I didn’t have this money.

I’ll see this everyday since January! 🙂

First good thing which I observed was, that after getting that mail I was not disappointed. I calmly read the mail and thought, how could I solve this. I had few options – to take a loan from the bank, ask if there would be some possibilities to give money earlier, or just don’t go there and use January for reading or traveling to other places. At the end I decided to try to fight, so I wrote the letter asking if there could be some possibilities and if no, I’ll take a loan.

So today I’ve got an answer, that at the end everything is ok, tomorrow I should go to firm the contract and give my account number! That means that I’m really going to Basque Country on January! This is so big lesson for me…

I know, I have to adapt it to other things, which are more important and harder to control. But at the end, the moral is this: There are moments in the life when the best we can do is wait, be patient and calm.

I think, at the moment when I saw that mail, I felt… HAPPY!

The life is really going on!

When we think that life has stopped – we should calm down, breath and wait until it starts to move again. It’s impossible for it to stay calm for a long time – it was made to be active and dynamic.

The lesson of today 🙂

Step 30. Perform your little rituals

Ohhhh, actually, I’m a little fan of rituals! Not only the rituals, but some traditions, as well. I am not talking about some festival traditions, or something, but about the traditions in the circle of friends, or couple traditions. I love to have some asociations, for example, when I lived in Spain, wednesdays asociated me with meeting up with friends and going to watch Champions league matches, saturday mornings with weekly shopping in Mercadona and cooking someting nice and new.  I have always dreamed about some traditions in a family as well. Someday they will come true 🙂

So, rituals are also in this kind of things. S.Chandler suggests us to imagine that we are some shamans, who need to dance and sing to get the healing started.

Doing something is what leads
to doing something. It’s a law of the universe: An object in motion stays
in motion.”

I’d relate this not only to the importance to the ritual as the fact, but also as a thing, which has continuity, forms a part of routine and becomes unseparable part of our day. Also it reminds me a bit Step 9. Build a track record. Although there I was talking more about following my behaviour and looking if I’m doing something I thought before I wouldn’t be able to do, the ritual also could be something similar. Obviously, it will be hard to get used to the new habit, but it worth to try. It is said, that 21 day is needed to form a new habit.

A part of this, ritual-tradition is good to motivate ourselves. Nothing falls from the sky, so when we believe that taking some rituals could help us to become more creative, to calm down or just take away bad mood, it helps.

During these months,  I found out, that when I’m filled up with negative emotions, I need some sport. When I had an opportunity, I was going to the gym. I remember one Sunday, when I had a hard day, I couldn’t concentrate at all, my mind was out of the world, I left everything and went to the gym. I started to run, my tears were falling down my face, I was running, faster and faster, I didn’t stop until I calmed down and got tired. I did some 4km that day. It’s not a lot, but at least it took my emotions away that time. Now it’s more complicated, as I don’t have financial possibilities to go to the gym and I can’t run outside, since I live in Lithuania and it’s not good idea to run on November…

The other thing I like, is walking. When I have a possibility and free time, I get off the bus few stops before my university and I go there by foot. It’s so nice! I should do it more.

Next “ritual” I will start to do – mornings with yoga. I have some video of it, and last month I started, but I didn’t go on with it more. So from tomorrow morning, I’m starting yoga exercises. I’ll do it 2-3 times a week. I think, this will make me wait for the mornings when I have exercises, it will wake me up, have good influence to my well being and motivation for a day.

And now, out of the topic.

I just wanted to share the thought I’ve been living with past few days.

It’s better to concentrate on what you have than what you don’t have.

P.S. Is someone able to share their own rituals?